Failed to Launch

No Excuses.

2009-12-22T15:31:00.003-05:00

Basketball is easiests sports to evaluate from my perspective. With in seconds of watching any game whether it be pick up, high school, Y league, toddlers, wheelchair league, ncaa basketball or nba you can spot the best player. It only takes maybe 5 trips downt the court before you can point out who the best player is. With that said why is it that year after year these Nba execs & gms botch draft picks. It simply is amazing.... Greg Oden over Kevin Durant? Darko over pretty much everyone in the '03 draft class not named lebron? Just continous "wtf" picks and thats where "no Excuses" comes in i am gonna list 3 players in the NCAA right now (not named John Wall) who won't have Gm's & Exec's looking like morons 2 years after the fact. I am gonna try to stay away from conventional guys.

1. Dexter Pittman 6'10 270lbs Texas C
In my opinion he is best center in the draft this year (we will see when him and Cole Aldrich square off). Those two should put on a show when they meet up twice this year in reg season one more time hopefully in their conf tourney. Aganist tougher competition Pittman has shown up ths guy isnt a slouch and I hope GM's realize this. Only knock is his conditioning right now.

2. Quincy Pondexter 6'6 215 Washington SF

QP is probably a late to first rounder or early second rounder none the less the guy can play. He does play in the Pac 10 but the guy can flat out shoot it. His game is similar to a Martell Webster both have smooth strokes loads of athleticism. His downfall is that he does get shot crazy at times but who wouldn't he plays on a average team where he has to force the issue.

3. Manny Harris 6-5 183 Michigan SG

I like to call Manny Harris...Jamal Crawford 2.0. Both went to the same school and both know how to flat out put the ball in the cup. Manny is a little light in weight but his ability to break people down off the dribble makes him a can't miss prospect.

John Wall Happens Here. Part: 2

2009-12-16T14:31:00.000-05:00

X-mas 09...Wish List.

2009-12-14T21:38:00.005-05:00

I am 21 years old. I do have a Christmas Wish List. Yes, I did send out three individual emails to my mom, dad & childless aunt (No CHILD! why not waste money on your sisters!) describing exactly what I wanted. Yes, I did include internet links to each item. No, I dont need any of these things. To bad I dont have a girlfriend who is head over heels for me & willing to spend all mom & dad's money on me. [Mental Note: Start looking ferciously for women around may (july bday) & october (xmas) that way all my needs ;) can be fulfilled] Now that we got that out of the way......onto the list!!

1. Asics Gel Lyte iii - $100

2. More Tim Tebow Crying moments (but only with someone clutching his head) - $2

3. Not to be ugly - Priceless

John Wall Happens Here.

2009-12-14T18:34:00.001-05:00

Guess who's back....

2009-12-14T00:43:00.004-05:00

No, no no... not him, ME! I know that you have all missed me but I am back. My life became very crazy and busy but I am not able to come back and entertain all four of my fans. Ok, I lied my life didn't get busy I just stopped writing for no reason.

Well, lets take a look at what has changed since my last writing...

- I am now a resident of Orlando, Fla. (This post was written in Ocala, Fla. however)

- The Cowboys have ended their streak of terrible December play. (Just kidding)

- Kentucky basketball is back in full force like I said they would be after they got that great recruiting class. 10-0 on the season and ranked #3 in the nation.

- Webb has finally become and man and is preparing to move out of Ocala to persue his dream of having a future... we will have to wait and see if this actually comes true.

- On a sad not, I now work at Hollister... yes, that gay store that smells like cologne and is really dark with loud music. I needed a job in Orlando and that's what I got so, shut up!

- The babe amount has hit epic numbers in Orlando for me... I have to swat some away because I am still busy with another. (Ya, I lied)

I am happy to say F2L is now ready to take off again. Expect much of the same as before:

*JOHN WALL*

WEBB'S THOUGHTS ON UGLY GIRLS

RANDOM THOUGHTS ABOUT ANNOYING THINGS

AND MORE...

a month and 4 days later.

2009-07-21T13:30:00.000-04:00

we are still here!

expect a post later.

the best part of waking up....

2009-06-17T21:18:00.004-04:00

is Hannah Storm on ESPN. She is not knock down gorgeous but I definately like her sexy business attrie gets me all FIRED UP in the mornings. Ok not really but it is better than blad or crooked eyes guys. (no Hate even though stu scott was only cool in like '00)

my rating...

yea nothing to special.

but a little sexy in the

morning is always good.

& in case your lost... click here

my 2009 Finals MVP

2009-06-16T10:13:00.002-04:00

...Trevor Ariza..... shot 32% from 3 during the reg. season which isn't a shocker. But in the finals he shot a blistering 47.4% simply incredibile cause this is the definition of raising your game. Also aside from Kobe & Phil, Ariza probably enjoyed this championship the most. Shooting the Magic's eyes out and giving them (the magic front office) the finger for trading him for NOTHING. so congrats Ariza (& odom) glad you guys did it.

trevor arizal!

A look back at my awesomeness

2009-06-15T23:00:00.004-04:00

At the beginning of the NBA Playoffs, myself, Webb and Deez all picked the way we thought the playoffs would go. Click here.

As you can all guess... my picks were the best and I picked 3 of the final 4, both Finals teams and the Champs.

So ya...

P.S.- Feel free to make fun of Webb for his picks.

Back from the Dead.

2009-06-12T12:53:00.006-04:00

dear D Fish,

i thought C Lee killed you in Game 3 when he posterized you but similar to Lazarus you came back to revive the Lakers. Kobe owes you a rolex, new car, his life or anything of your choosing for getting him his 4th. Magic had this game locked up for sure until you decided to do kill them not once but twice in one night (to tie the game & in OT basically clinching the series). Just like in '04 when you hit the game winning shot on the spurs with 0.04 seconds left. It is funny though as you jogged up the court for that last shot I was laughing and making fun of you because your washed up and was trusted to take the final shot to tie it all up. And just like that you made me look like a fool and nailed it. Previously 0 for FREAKING 5 from the 3. You stepped up like a Vet is supposed to. I can't be mad at you really. Jameer should've played the 3 point line instead of giving you the space and Dwight should've made his Free Throws. But congrats man and here is post 108 to commemorate your heroics last night.

Yours truly,

Webb

Ps - tell Gasol I LOVED that emotion after the hard foul. Epic. Tell him I have gained a ton of respect for him. Truthfully I was suprised he didn't back down or flop to the ground or pull some gay boy stunt. Really impressed me. Pietrus would've murdered him though...lol

I thought you were dead man honestly.

you can't guard anyone but then you

came back with 6.5 seconds left in Game 4

Breaking News: Magic set to lose to Jedi

2009-06-12T01:07:00.002-04:00

NBA is RIGGED

and....#106

2009-06-10T16:58:00.003-04:00

..Goes to Rafer cause we all know he is a fragile flower and doesn't handle criticism well.

But he definately earned this one. I know Orlando loves Jameer but you have to keep the ball in this guy's hands. I mean he did help you beat Philly, Boston & Cleveland. Also I may have been the only one who noticied but for a Point Guard Rafer is Jacked as F*ck. He was never like that in Houston..... But I mean with Dwight and Pietrus you can't be shocked there strength and conditioning coach has to be the best in the biz.

Skip To My Lou.

Deez is Burning

2009-06-10T12:55:00.005-04:00

Here's what I'm burning on today:
1. The Magic- My Orlando Magic finally won the franchise's first NBA Finals game last night, shooting a scorching 62.5% from the field (an NBA Finals record). I watched the game as always with my nigga Patrick J and it was the usual rollercoaster ride of emotion that every Magic game is. As much of a knucklehead as Rafer can be alot of the time, he stepped up big last night along with the rest of the team. I thought my boy CLee, along with Peet, did a great job guarding Kobe in the 2nd half. Still, we cant expect to shoot that hot again and I'll be looking forward to a better defensive effort tomorrow night. Go Magic!2. Leaving the Nest- Me and PJ recently went down to Orlando with my parents to check out some appartments. My expectations were set quite low as to what the quality of our prospects would be. I was very pleasantly surprised by one complex in particular- The Fountains at Waterford Lakes. It's basically the shit. If everything works out, we will be moving in in the beginning of August. If that indeed does happen....babes in Orlando need to look out. We will have the #1 bachelor pad in town and they are all going to want to ride our shit 24/7. The apartment itself is sick and then theres the sand volleyball court that me and Pat are going to hone our skills on at least once a day. So basically I'm pretty excited about all that and I hope it works out because if it doesn't, were gonna be living in ghettoville USA aka somewere on University.

3. Millionaire Momma- While watching the Magic dominate last night, Momma Newport aka Meesk Moosk informed us that she will be winning the Florida Lottery today. She says she found this out about 5 days ago while in north Georgia with some family when God told her. I'm really hoping she's right because I have been promised that I will benefit from the winnings, which should total in the $20.5M range after taxes (she's gonna do the lump sum, not the lifetime bs). She has promised to purchase 2 Range Rover Sport's for me and Patrick J, along with countless other cool stuff (possibly a mansion next door to Dwight Howard in Orlando). Sooo basically were just waitin on the drawing tonight to begin the next, very rich chapter of our lives.

4. Alexander Carmichael Webber- Just wanted to point out again how much of a fag this guy is. If you've ever met him you know exactly what I mean. #1 his middle name is Carmichael...enough said. #2 he doesn't kick it with his homies as much as he should... or maybe he just doesn't kick it with me, making him even more shitty. #3 he's in a very serious relationship with a young lady but refuses to admit it's validity (closet homo anyone). #4 he's a Duke fan.

Rashard Lewis...#104

2009-06-09T18:35:00.006-04:00

And Post number 104 goes to Rashard Lewis. If not for 'Shard (as Pat & Trev-trev call him) Game 2 could have been catastrophic. But he kept draining shots and keeping it close. I know its been two days since his awesome and I wanted to praise him earlier but I forgot. So here it is better later than never.

After scoring 34 points while shooting 12 for 21 and going 6 for 12 from downtown with 11 rebounds and 7 assists post number 104 is dedicated to you Rashard Lewis aka the 118 millon dollar man despite losing.

^Yeah i don't know about the picture I just wanted 'Shard without those two other fags.

& sorry for this, all love now shard.

So 2008.

2009-06-08T16:57:00.000-04:00

i NEED this.

2009-06-05T11:02:00.002-04:00

100.

2009-06-05T10:08:00.002-04:00

we did it. the 100th post.

98% of pat & i. and about 2% of deez.

Put on my Laker Jersey and I go rape white (!)

2009-06-05T09:55:00.008-04:00

So today is probably gonna be kobe day all day on espn
a. Cav's fans will probably feel relieved upon seeing this.
b. Laker's fans will cry.
c. This would be a good look for Kobe that run & gun style in NY would equal buckets, buckets & more buckets

For some reason 2k is running a survey to see which cover fans like more. Three of them have kobe in the usual laker uni and the last one has him in a knicks jersey....yea absurd. Here is the linky winky

& lastily Kobe was unstoppable last night. doing any & everything he wanted. poor mickael & c-lee....but hooray JJ for shutting him the F- down.

Genius (or Luck)

2009-06-04T10:43:00.003-04:00

I'm bored & this is what i think about.

The NBA 09' Playoffs. Where Amazing Happens. America is still in shock that America's new second favorite team was murdered so easily & quickly. Many are wondering how this happened to a team that had the Most Valuable Player of the Year, the Coach of the Year and Sporting News executive of the year. After watching the ECF we can now say 2 of those awards (COY & EOY) were not deserved. So it got me thinking about both teams in the finals, we already know how the Lakers got there with that roster. But the Orlando Magic have suprised everyone who watches the NBA. When you look at next season from now who is gonna stop the Magic in the East. With such a young nucleus and a coach that seems to be respected by his players this team could become a write in for the finals. The man who we can look to for some answers is probably the ex magic's general manager John Weisbrod (and we will examine Otis Smith). Now if your me and crazy you would analyze every move John Weisbroud made to see how such a dynamic roster was put together. This is the only way we can tell if this was pure genuis or simply a stroke of luck.

03 - 04 roster - Dwight Gooden, Juwan Howard, Britton Johnsen, Tyronne Lue, Tracy Mcgrady, Keith Bogans, Steven Hunter, Gordon Giricek, Andrew DeClercq, Rod Strickland, DeShawn Stevenson, Shammond Willams, Reece Gaines, Donnell Harvey, Zaza Pachiula, Pat Garrity (16)

We will start with the end of the McGrady Era. (Offseason 2004)

General manager Gabriel gets canned. enter John Weisbroud (guts roster)
Tmac wants out! Says no to rebuilding aka f*ck dwight
T mac, Gaines, Lue and J. Howard traded to Hou. for Francis, Cato & Mobley
Gooden, Hunter & draft rights of Anderson Varejo traded to Cle. for Tony Battie and two Second round picks.
Hedo Turkologu becomes a free agent, with hopes of becoming a starter signs with ORL.
In the NBA draft Orlando selects Dwight Howard with the Number one pick
To round out there draft, Orlando traded a 2005 first round pick for the Nuggets Jameer Nelson.

04-05 roster - Steve Francis, Grant Hill, Cuttino Mobley, Hedo Turkoglu, Dwight Howard, Jameer Nelson, (the nucleus) DeShawn Stevenson, Kelvin Cato, Tony Battie, Pat Garrity, Andrew Declerq, Doug Christie, Stacey Augmon, Andrew Barrett.

ABout ten games in Cuttino Mobley was traded for Doug Christie
Grant Hill would be cleared to play 15 games in.
Johnny Davis is fired & replaced by Chris Jent
Weisbroud resigns (!), Enter Otis Smith
In the NBA Draft, the magic select Fran Vazquez, Travis Diener. Vazquez decided to stay in Spain...lol.
Sign FA Keyon Dooling
Christie, Declerq Barrett become FA at end of season

05-06 roster - Steve Francis, Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, Jameer Nelson, Grant Hill, DeShawn Stevenson, Keyon Dooling, Tony Battie, Pat Garrity, Kelvin Cato, Travis Diener, Stacey Augmon.

Brian Hill named Head Coach
Kelvin Cato & top 2007 draft 1st rd pick traded to Det. for Darko Milicic and Carlos Arroyo (during season)
Steve Francis traded to NY. for Anfernee Hardaway and Trevor Ariza (midseason)
In the NBA draft Orlando selects J.J. Reddick (!), James Augustine, Lior Eliyahu & Ryan Hollins (offseason)
Sign FA Keith Bogans at end of season. (offseason)

06-07 roster - Dwight Howard, Grant Hill, Hedo Turkoglu, Jameer Nelson, Trevor Ariza, Darko Milicic, Keyon Dooling, Carlos Arroyo, Tony Battie, JJ Reddick, Keith Bogans, Travis Diener, Pat Garrity, James Augustin

Brian Hill Fired as coach (offseason)
Billy Donovan Hired as Coach....Billy Donovan resigns as coach (lol)
Stan Van Gundy Hired.
Sign FA Rasahrd Lewis (offseason)
Marcin Gortat traded to Orl for future cash considerations
Drafted Reyshawn Terry
Grant Hill becomes a FA

07-08 roster - Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, Rashard Lewis, Jameer Nelson, Maurice Evans, Keith Bogans, Keyon Dooling, JJ Reddick, Carlos Arroyo, Keyon Dooling, Keith Bogans, Travis Diener, Pat Garrity, James Augustine, Trevor Ariza, Adonal Foyle

Trevor Ariza Traded to LA for Brian Cook and Marurice Evans (midseason)
Carlos Arroyo, Maurice Evans, Travis Diener become FA's (offseason)
Garrity retires (sept. '08)
Keyon Dooling Signed and Traded to NJ. (offseason)
Orlando sign FA's Mickael Pietrus and Anthony Johnson (offseason)
Draft Courtney Lee.

08-09 roster - Dwight Howard, Hedo Turkoglu, Rashard Lewis, Jameer Lewis, Keith Bogans, Brian Cook, JJ Reddick, Mickael Pietrus, Anthony Johnson, Courtney Lee, Tony Battie, Marcin Gortat, Adonal Foyle, Marcin Gortat

Keith Bogans traded to Mil. for Tyronne Lue
Brian Cook traded to Hou/Mem for Rafer Alston

And thats how this roster was assembled. Personally I think Weisbroud should be awarded, Otis Smith had two very questionable drafts and a free agent signing that was a blessing in disguise (Rashard). So like I thought it was a simple storke of luck to land a roster like this. But we will see what happens after the finals. Hedo is a Free Agent this summer and a very important part of this roster.

Another one of these...

2009-06-03T14:55:00.002-04:00

and to go along with that here is a list of 11 sports fans we love to hate... I think Deezle falls into 3 of the categories.

LeBron vs. Kobe... well, atleast fan wise

2009-06-01T22:20:00.001-04:00

A Laker fan made this photo after LeBron was unable to hold up his end of the bargain.

How to Survive The NBA Playoffs

2009-06-01T00:07:00.005-04:00

First:
Don't let this happen too often.

or this...

or this...

and this...

Second:
Shoot the ball like no other.

Third:
Have Superman.

The End.

The LeBomb.

2009-05-29T15:35:00.002-04:00

If your 21, like drinking & basketball this is right up your alley.
Warning: about 6 douche's in the video so be prepared.

Genuis idea in my opinion.

Of course.

2009-05-28T10:51:00.006-04:00

I am such a retard I should've given in earlier. follow me on Twitter sluts. twitter.com/webb1988

Twitter - letting athletes & celebs say whatever they want without being worried or having to deal with extra annoying reporter.
Here are some gems....

Or... you could just follow pat. He talks to the celebs all the time.

post #92.

2009-05-26T02:49:00.002-04:00

do you think Em could play the joker?

also I only like the magic, cavs series. I could care less who wins the west.

Que the End Credits.

2009-05-22T09:23:00.003-04:00

The end has come and I just need to vent. I've been broken up with twice in the last 6 days and even though one hurts way more than the other, i feel equally bad about both. Nothing last forever but at the beginning of both relationships I thought they would. I'd spend hours thinking about the memories we would have and then later in life getting to relive those memories with my childern. One thing you have to learn about life is, everything does not work as planned. With that said it is time for me to let go. Bye Greg Paulus & thank you for being the number one rated PG but not living up to it. You did however shoot lights out in that UNC game & shot a blistering 42% from 3. Good luck at Syracuse bud, even though you underperformed in the blue& white I will always respect you man. And lastly Bye to John Wall, I thought I didn't care about you spurning Duke for UK but then it hit me last night. I usually run down my teams in my head in the offseasons and to get myself excited about there return. I began with my Dolphins, had a nice draft and it'll be fun to see how Parcells & Sporano handle the team [happy]. Heat, Wade is back, got two nice young guys & I wanna see BEASTly at the 3 [happy]. Duke, we had PG trouble last yr, draft class includes two forwards, and no forward progress [not happy]. I know we never had a relationship but I could envision you in the blue white easily. Thanks for breaking my heart way more than Shaun Livingston did after he spurned Duke for the NBA. Guess being close to your dying mom doesn't matter. yea.. had to go there and should wrap up the JOHNny Stay Home & Liar series. Roll the End Credits.

:]

Just a friendly reminder for Webb

2009-05-21T17:19:00.001-04:00

YEP, IT HAPPENED

Are you not twittering?

2009-05-20T16:40:00.001-04:00

Sad day in an Alex Webber's Life

2009-05-19T17:46:00.004-04:00

In case you missed mine and Webb's man crush on John Wall and his recruitment then you should go in our archives and read all of them. But today, John Wall chose his school and like the Great Patrick J. told you, he chose Kentucky. Now, Webb hates this (he wanted him at Dook and thought UK had no chance once they signed Eric Bledsoe) and has sat and cried in his room all day but will never admit it.

This commitment has sky rocketed the hopes for Kentucky next season. Also, there are talks that this is the best class of all time. That's right, over the fab five and the Thad five.

Please tell mom this is not her fault.

2009-05-18T21:20:00.007-04:00

Well my birthday is probably never gonna get here.

July without a doubt has to be the worst month.

Also i have to take a summer class & my job sucks.

Got my pay check today for 54$, i had to buy gas & a book

and now POOF i'm out of money for the week....(Patrick J. EDIT: and he lost John Wall) FML lol

(please don't report me, this picture is a joke.)

And then there were two...

2009-05-18T04:05:00.000-04:00

in the east.

Who do?...

2009-05-18T03:13:00.004-04:00

And so do the rest of the Magic being only the 4th team to beat Boston in Boston in a game 7. And also being the first team to beat a Boston team that has a 3-2 series lead. (32-0 prior)

So Congrats Orlando.

And this missing writer known as Deezle, is a perfect 4 outta 4 with his NBA predictions. Too bad he still sucks ball at everything else in life. PEACE!

Where in the World is Trevor D Parker?

2009-05-15T14:12:00.002-04:00

Where is he? No one knows but from the background on the carton we can assume he is in a remote jungle wearing that hat and that same facial expression. But I know he does have internet access though cause I was able to have this eye opening conversation with him over facebook:

2:03pmTrevor
u goin to the game

2:03pmAlex
no where are you though man

2:03pmTrevor
I am in a jungle but i will be back by 4 to go to the game
with pat & tmnvkv

2:04pmAlex
lol oh
hahhaa,
nah im not going though

2:04pmTrevor
you should come but i am down here doing homo things.
it can be a double date pat & tmnvkv and you & i

2:04pmAlex
no money.
& thats really gay

2:05pmTrevor
sorry i cant help myself sometimes.

2:05pmAlex
oh ehh...dude i hope your kidding.

2:05pmTrevor
i am. sorry i meant im not a ray or indian

2:07pmAlex
lol oh.
well yall have fun mannn. dont get to weird.

2:07pmTrevor
fuck u

2:07pmAlex
wht did i do?

2:08pmTrevor
idk just seems like u deserve it
& you wont accept my homo way

2:08pmAlex
oh ok. gotta go man.
you should post more though.

Game 7 & Beyond.

2009-05-15T13:40:00.005-04:00

Sunday should be rather entertaining because we will finally get to see who gets to join the Cavaliers & Nuggets in the Eastern and Western Conference Finals. The four teams left are Lakers, Rockets, Celtics & Magic. Should be pretty exciting and each game the result could go either way. The Lakers & Magic both have more talent than their opponents but often shut it down early or are just coached horribly in the closing seconds. Nonetheless I am sure you can expect good games from either team & I am predicting big games from Kobe Bryant and Ray Allen.

Starting monday I'll be starting a daily blog series on F2L (post a day) with TMNVKV on each team that made the playoffs and what offseason moves they need to do in order to make a return trip back in 2010. You may ask "why should you care what TMNVKV has to say about how my team should handle it's offseason?" And I am here to tell you he is one man who is over qualified for the job and on a consistent basis makes valid basketball points.

Here are his crediantials

Has owned every NBA simulation video game since 1998.
Knows which school every player in the NBA attended
Has drafted 9,890 fantasy teams in this years NBA 2k9 game.
Often makes trades on ESPN's trade machine with ease.
Knows how to work the salary cap in NBA 2k7
Played High School Basketball
Twice played at a CFCC open gym
Often scores 30+ points in his local YMCA Men's League.

So get ready He is Cum'n. :o

Girls are a funny thing

2009-05-13T17:56:00.002-04:00

They always say we are so confusing and miss leading but the truth is we are only those things because they make us that way. With women in your life nothing ever seems to be simple. everyting has to be a grand plan and it drives me nuts sometimes.

The truth is though, we as men can't survive without them. Well, unless your a fag... But they have some of the biggest neccessities to a man's life wrapped up in them. We want some boobage. Them. We want to cuddle. Them. We want to watch a chick flick and not be made fun of by our friends. Them.

It is a very vicious ccle that has been around since the cavemen. So I have recently decided to grin and bare it. Big step in a young Patrick J.'s life but I have officially done it.

So ladies bring on all your wierd challenges because I am ready!!!

09's white dave chappelle?

2009-05-12T09:02:00.004-04:00

Back in 2003 Comedy Central debuted a weekly sketch comedy show called Chappelle's Show. After the show caught on for a solid 3 maybe 4 years, Dave Chappelle was the comeidan of choice for most young adults/teenagers, simply the funniest guy on the planet. He seemed to shwo up everywhere. Then it all came to an end he somehow got crazy, went AWOL and jumped out of the lime light.

Fast forward to 2009 and the new "it" comedian for the young adults/teenagers has to Andy Samberg. Though he may not be as spontaneously funny as Dave was Andy can hold his own in a well written sketch. From his lonely island days to his now SNL days, Sandberg is own his way to being crowned the funniest guy on the planet. Sandberg is hosting the MTV movie awards and he has been shooting a couple videos to hype the show. Some are pretty funny. Here are my favorite two.

Then again don't watch these videos. My taste in everything sucks.
Also video for "Disclaimer 3itch!" is up.

I want to pose a late night question

2009-05-12T00:30:00.002-04:00

Would you be excited if you team won a game 4 when they were down 3-0 in the series?

I would have to go with a no there, especially if they had to go on the road next.

also, can I just point out that I recieved a text from one Alex Webber tonight that read as follows
"Pat and Webb homotime?"

That text is our friendship in a nutshell. And I am saddened to hear that Webb's plan with his lady friend did not work out today.

More tomorrow. night

My Allegiance

2009-05-12T00:00:00.002-04:00

In case you were wondering...

I am not a Boston Fan Boy or anything.
I am an avid follower of 3 Professional Teams & 2 Collegiate teams.
....and they are the miami heat, the 2008 afc east champions, the flordia marlins, the duke university MEN's basketball team and whoever plays the gator's on saturday/florida state university football program.

HOWEVER... i have favorite players on other teams who i love to see do well. This list is endless and could take forever. but to name a few of the members who make up this list are... John Wall, Rajon Rondo, Paul Pierce, Ken Griffey Jr., Derek Jeter, Tyreke Evans, Randy Moss, Plaxico Burress, Ed Reed, Fred Smoot, Courtney Lee, and it could go on & on & on

Disclaimer 3itch!

2009-05-11T23:15:00.006-04:00

So the father of the kid who got pushed in the whole excitement of Big Baby's Celebration wants an apology for his son. This guy has to be joking. The push was not intentional the only reason Big Baby got that close to the kid was because the Referee was in the way. And right on cue....

It has EH quality.

Update: Pat's "webb and his hate" post is so inaccurate it is not even funny. Someone at a party brought up "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" the converstation starter said they hated it and it sucked balls. I said I liked it. But I added a disclaimer, I qucikly said to myself "no one likes the movies I watch though" maybe not loud enough to hear (I often do this though when I have something to say but don't really want anyone to hear it). I have no explanation for why I liked the movie though. I do now however (it is about to get homo so stop here) that I prefer movies with character growth over movies with actors who just act one way a whole movie.(action & comedy).

& the TMNVKV part is bullshit. the reason for the post was because sometimes in a young mans life he wants to chill with a young female at his house while his parents are at work. But instead of the plan working out like he & her had planned something crazy has to pop up. This was not the first time that something he had planned with a young lady had fallen through. So upon hearing the plan would not work he was rather upset. And that was how Part two of F*ck my friends was born...lol.

Webb and his HATE

2009-05-11T18:50:00.002-04:00

There is a time in a mans life where he realizes his friends has a lot of hate built up in him. There are also times when you realize your friend has bad taste in movies. I realized both of these were true in Webbie today. Mt mom, Timothy and I all sat down to watch the academy award winning movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" only to realize how shitty it truely is. Why is it all award winning movies blow big balls?

Now, back to the point of this. Alex Webber loved this movie in an overly homo type way. He swore to me to see it and I did what any great friend would do and saw it. What a waste of time. WAAAAAAAAY too long. And not nearly enough boobs or crack.

So i figured out the hard way that Webb has terrible taste in movies.

Upon finishing the movie I decided to come check out our blog only to find Webb bitching about life. Now I understand that he gets upset that his Heat can't bea the Hawks and that his buddy Timnovkov was at my house watching the movie I no longer speak of, but damn, does he need to cry that bad.

All I ask is that he go and see a doctor about his struggles with his moods and his calling me at 3 a.m. at night crying about his future.....

Ok, so I kind of bullshitted this last little bit. Webb is one of the coolest people I know and when he gets in one of his current moods it makes me giggle. But on the real, I will never watch a movie he tells me to ever again.

F*ck my friends pt. 2

2009-05-11T17:06:00.004-04:00

f' the orlando magic- for beign better than celtics but never getting it done

f' the lakers- all season we hear about how awesome you are then getting round 2 and shutting down

f' bynum - for being a myth. maybe next year?

f' detriot - for giving up on chauncey. morons

f' detriot again - for picking darko in '03 when you had sure picks like melo, wade, bosh & kirk still there. they wasted that draft there three picks were darko, delfino & Andreas Glyniadakis (ya wtf.)

f' farve - for pulling this same shit.

f' my friends - for being gay. can't wait to move.

f' magic fans - for complaining about the push.... really?

f' mavs - complaining about fouling the whole game then complaing about not getting the foul call.

& love for peeps & my mom for always keeping it real

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T15:12:00.001-04:00

So you though you were a good beer pong player... well face this guy!

2009-05-09T14:24:00.001-04:00

I don't know whether I should think he is awesome, or he has too much time on his hands. Prolly too much time on his hands saying he goes to Lindsey Wilson. I mean really, what is there to do there?

Some quick notes

2009-05-08T14:50:00.003-04:00

Your's truely won some Game 3 Magic tickets tonight from Dante and Galante. F2L continues to own Twitter.

Alex Webber is a fan of "Taking the Stage" which may possibly be the gayest show on MTV. Lets all hope he is kidding.

Parker turned 21 this past Tuesday. He got extremely drunk and hit on some babes. No shocker here... he didn't score.

Tomorrow I will post about my experience at Game 3 of the ORL/BOS series.

Keep it Fresh!

Rafer Alston = Rick James?

2009-05-08T11:41:00.000-04:00

why are these so funny?

2009-05-08T03:40:00.002-04:00

the music + house's reaction + the question at the end + houses' headband doing a complete 360 + = me cracking up at 3:41am

woMANNY?

2009-05-07T21:07:00.002-04:00

Manny Ramirez got suspended 50 games today for failing a drug test. Apparently he took a drug that is meant for women. Steroid users take it after they are done using them to help gets their testosterone back to normal. So kind of wierd but this just once again proves everyone in baseball cheated.

Let's hope Steph Curry's NBA skills are better than his rapping

2009-05-07T20:52:00.002-04:00

There are about 3 things white/black people shouldn't do... rapping is one. (Ask Webb)

Also, who raps about Davidson's cafeteria?

"Slap to my Lou"

2009-05-07T17:13:00.001-04:00

You know your a bitch when you get a fatherly slap on the back of the head... not gonna lie... this maybe the funniest thing I have ever seen.

Say Word.

2009-05-07T13:26:00.004-04:00

[insert sly sexual remark here]

these actually look fake now.

It's Official..

2009-05-07T03:50:00.004-04:00

Rajon Rondo is my current favorite NBA player.

Lol... in like 11th grade Pat always used to say I played like Rondo. I'd never heard about him. Maybe that's when I began liking him because anyone who I remind people of must be good.

I need his jersey.

Baseball... really?

2009-05-06T19:33:00.004-04:00

So I'm sitting here waiting for the Magic/Celtics game 2 to start and I find myself on ESPN watching fricking baseball. While watching this boring thing known as a sport I decided I should probably list what baseball is really good for in a human beings life... So enjoy.

1. If you feel like taking a nap... it is the best thing to put on the T.V.

2. Wonder what it is truely like to be cursed--see the Chicago Cubs

3. For that 6 week period in late June through July where no other sports are on... baseball pushes you to be active.

4. Another chance to call Alex Webber a fag when you catch him watching it.

5. To see some of the wierder things to happen in sports take place. (see this)
6. Make us realize maybe soccer isn't so bad...

7. Show our youth how great you can be when you cheat.

8. Brought us movies like "Rookie of the Year" and "The Sandlot".

9. SO WHITE PEOPLE CAN STILL BE ATHLETES!

10. So when September comes we love football more than anything else.

Thought I would bring it to everyones attention

2009-05-06T13:54:00.002-04:00

#1 Class

A Good Idea... A Really Good Idea.

2009-05-05T15:38:00.006-04:00

Will Ferrell known funny man is the lead actor in the summer movie, Land of the Lost. I've seen the trailer and honestly it does not look to funny. But to get some buzz for the movie, Will Ferrell will be on Man Vs. Wild with Bear Grylls on June 5th. This is a genius idea in my mind. It may not be that funny but I am positive Will Ferrell's funniest will be showcased through out the 1 hour episode. Here is the synopsis for the episode...

After being dropped from a helicopter in the far north region of Sweden, the unlikely duo will spend 48 hours rappeling down frozen waterfalls, looking for food, making their own snow shoes, trying to stay warm, drinking his own urine and munching on reindeer eyes.

Always the jokester, Will told Us Weekly in a statement, "To be able to participate in an episode of Man vs. Wild was a thrill of a lifetime, even though I did get urine-drunk which is sad."

In case you don't watch the video, you should know it is safe to drink your piss...lol

Happy Birthday Diesel.

2009-05-05T00:39:00.002-04:00

Well it's Parker's birthday & my friends are hanging out while I sit in on the computer. At least I am watching cool stuff though... lol.

^if you have never seen "Teen Wolf" you won't get this one.

I made it in a slezzy way. (Hour 3)

2009-05-04T13:46:00.010-04:00

Yeah I know I said every hour and I missed last hour. But it's all good no one reads the blog yet so I can do what I want. But here is one of sexiest actresses in holloywood right now. Rosario is unique cause she is a mix, so you never really know what to expect from her. I am not gonna lie sometimes when switches up her hair she can look rough but most times she is top of the line.

Yeah it'd say two hansbrough's are about right. Banging body coupled with a darling face will get you that.

P.S. - congrats to LBJ.

Biggest day in a Novkov's life since...

2009-05-04T12:23:00.003-04:00

1966. That is the last time a Cleveland franchise won a championship. Well, they didn't win one today or anything but they got something pretty equal to it, an NBA MVP trophy.

LeBron James in his 6th season in the league won his first MVP trophy. This of course will have Webb crying for Dwade, but no one will listen. Well, this guy would listen only to then yell about Dwade:

But ya, congrats Bron Bron, because the Magic are coming for you and your scrubs!!!

I made it in a slezzy way. (Hour 1)

2009-05-04T11:20:00.005-04:00

The end of the school year sucks. Teachers know exactly when it is time to overwhelm students with unneccessary assisgnments that hinder a student's abilit to cram for finals. So for all of today atleast until 5pm when I work I have to work on this 6 page paper that must deal with mythology. If it weren't for the fact that if I do not complete it I won't attain my AA and move off I would not give two shits about it. So expect a post every hour today on any and everything obscure(no sports. well maybe not)

(what made Dwight happier winning the aWARD or getting a reWARD from Pat?)

I have figured out life...

2009-05-03T21:38:00.002-04:00

For anyone who is searching for the meaning of life I am pretty sure I figured it out today. While on a fun filled trip to St. Augustine with the Parker family I was hit with the true meaning of life. That of course being babe-scoping.

We all were sitting down enjoying a fun-filled dinner of assorted seafoods when the hostist caught my eye. I realized she had all the predetermined babe qualifications.

1. She wasn't fat.
2. Tight body, like a tiger.
3. Looked like she needed some direction in life.
4. Possibly be a spinner.

After figuring this out a decided to get into the "creeper mode". This is where you stare at her every chance you get. This is best done when wearing sun glasses. But, if you are a hardcore scoper, you do this even without.

Next comes the part where you tell all of your friends that she "wants to ask you your name". This doesn't actually mean she wants to know your name. This is a cool way of saying she is checking you out and maybe is boning you with her eyes.

This step rarely actually takes place for most of us. Only Tim gets to this point most of the time. He is a lot more of a babe magnet then the rest of us. Webb is usually the one who doesn't even try or tells the rest of us that a babe is scouting us... usually meaning they are checking out Tim. Parker just sits in the corner and cries and says no babe will ever like him. As for me, I just wing it and lie about babes looking at me.

So anyways, all in all, all we ever do is check out babes and say the samethings everytime. So babes be aware... if we are around... we are looking at you!

Failed to Launch and Dwight Howard

2009-05-02T17:20:00.004-04:00

Just got done doing some tweeting with D12 on Twitter.com. The convo started because I showed him a pic that yours truely made up (shown below) and he loved it. He loved it so much that he posted it on his Twitter picture account and his Facebook. This just goes to show you how awesome our blog is. So shove it!

Game 7.

2009-05-02T15:28:00.002-04:00

Tonight is Game 7 of the riveting Boston versus Chicago series. Good thing about this series is regardless if you like basketball or not you can appreciate this series. Has everything a sports fan loves intensity, drama, every possession seems critical and you can tell that Boston's players hates Chicago's and vice versa. But you should tune into tonight's game because this is probably more exciting than anything you are doing in your life. Unless of course your getting laid by a babe for 3 hours straight.

Couple things we've learned this series:

KG still annoys the F*** out of viewers despite sitting on the bench the whole game.
Rondo WILL do anything to win.
Noah has not changed. At first I thought he celebrated to be an ass. But I think he just has that much passion for the game. Read THIS
Big Baby can actually play. Which basically means someone will overpay him when he becomes a Free Agent.
Tony Allen is awful like really really bad.
Ray Allen is a cyborg & should have passed Reggie Miller as the most clutch shooter in NBA history.
Rose Vs. Rondo should be named [Paul Vs. Williams East].
Vinny Del Negro could have already won this series if he wasn't an idiot.
Doc Rivers trust Rondo more in the clutch than Ray Allen. WHy? I don't know.
Ben Gordon scores and thats it. But it's ok cause he scores alot in bunches.
I wish the heat had Kendrick Perkins.

LeBron isn't the only one being "Witnessed"

2009-04-30T14:40:00.003-04:00

Back in January of this year, Kentucky gaurd, Jodie Meeks, went off for a school record 54 points against Tennessee. Nike made shirts to help commerate the event, but good ole Billy G. hid them from the team never to be seen. That was until John Calipari came in as new savior...errr.... I mean head basketball coach. He handed them out to the players to wear before an after season practice. UK fans caught glimpses of the shirts and wanted them to be sold to the masses. Nike originally declined but not for long. The shirts are now for sale and I expect them to be a high selling item. So move over Brony, there is a new player needing to be witnessed.

Where in the World is Timmy: Week 3

2009-04-29T19:32:00.008-04:00

This week we take a look at Timmy's most recent jobs. He is pretty awesome at holding the greatest jobs known to man. Lets look at the most distant one I can remember. That of course is being a WNBA ref. Tim wasn't cool enough to ref the doods so he went after what was next best... ok maybe not next best but he got to stare at his dream women. Ball'n Women.

Two things that go together better than LeBron James and awesomeness are Tim and Club'n. If you ever see Tim in a club and you are not a babe run as far as you can because he is waaaaay too cool for you. Babes be weary, he is quite the magnet. So ya, Tim took over for lead secruity guard, and now gets to discriminate against whites.

If I know one thing about Timmy, it is that he loves to read. He is a huge fan of Playboy and Hustler. Tim has the reading level of a 56 year old and it was recently discovered that he is the only person who can read ancient writings.

Timmy's most recent and still stable job is of course janitor. (this is no joke) He is Ocala's finest and works for the best "Sunshine Janitorial". If you ever have a dirty toliet or a smudge on your carpet give The Novkov a ring-a-ling.

FYI

2009-04-29T01:02:00.002-04:00

Hey guys, just letting all 4 people that prolly read this, I, TDeez, am in fact not dead. Just been way too busy being awesome and boning random dime pieces and doin drugs and watchin the Magic suck to take the time to write something. I guess thats the main reason I'm writing this. That, and the fact that I get the feeling that PJ and A-Webb will most likely demand my removal from this wonderful blog if I dont start writing shit. Thats mostly because they are bitches, but I deal with it because they are my best friends. Its late and I just whacked it so I'm gonna go to bed now but new amazingly fantastic posts can be expected from yuh boy Deez. So to all 4-7 of you anxious readers out there- hang in there kids.

Newport Connection

2009-04-29T01:01:00.003-04:00

Like Webb has mentioned, F2L has taken alittle step back here in the past few days. Let it be known we have not forgotten about our loyal followers (aka the three of us and probably Tim and no babes).

My reason for my recent Hiatus (ya, don't know if I spelled that one quite right) is alittle thing simply known as "Newport Connection" or "NC". This is where my internet, provided by Cox suckers, like to go out for no reason for hour upon hours. Deezle and myself have run many tests to try and reach a conclusion on why this terrible thing continues to plague my house.

Has a dog shit on my internet cable? Did a witch put a spell on my Cox subscription? Did Webb steal my shit?

Why all are high possibilities (especially C) I think it simply has to do with my life and my luck. But, I have rambled on enough, and I certainly don't want to start about my terrible history with the other sex known as "Babes".

So you can expect new editions of Where in the World is Timmy, Tuesday Sports Photos, and a few South Park Top 10's.

Damage Control.

2009-04-28T09:23:00.003-04:00

For any of our friends that follow our blog or any loser who found us on accident just thought I would let you know that we aren't dead. Between trying to turn my facebook wall into a babe zone like Pat's and watching the Magic, Heat, Blazers and Hornets playing shitty basketball I just am at a lose of time. I can't speak for Pat and Parker but thats what I have been up to. So after my 3 day hiatus from F2L I thought I would do some damage control and defend my pick of the Hornets to the NBA championship game.

I thought Chris Paul could do it all by himself but I forgot he is only 5'11 and wasn't born in a test tube like other superstars (wade, DH12 & LBJ). I completely forgot Tyson Chandler and Peja Stojkohldhdfhajlkhdflic were hurt all season. Also some how I got convinced into thinking that David West was a great sidekick to Chris Paul. All these combined and the fact New Orleans has no bench and you can start to understand why the Hornets had no chance. So I figured I would edit my picks and give them to you again.

This Can't Be Life.

2009-04-25T11:16:00.005-04:00

Before the playoffs started and the possible 3rd seed vs. 5th seed matchup was Orlando vs. Chicago I told fellow F2L member Parker that the magic were f'd and going to lose. Little did I know that who ever the Magic played in the first round, not named the Cleveland Cavaliers, they would get waxed. It is only the 2-1 Sixers so the Magic still have a chance to right the ship. Trust me I don't hate the Magic, but it is nice to see them lose. haha.

^You should tune into Game 4 to watch Hedo do his annual Playoff time disappearing act. It's his best MAGIC trick. ;)

(EDIT) By Patrick J.: I guess Hedo didn't pull Webb's disappearing act in game 4... because he kind of hit the game winner!

Might as well get use to this...

2009-04-24T01:16:00.002-04:00

Twittering Craze!!!!

2009-04-23T21:06:00.003-04:00

It seems like everyone and thier mother has joined Twitter.com.

From just your everyday normal person--to Shaq, Miley Cyrus, John Calipari, Pete Carroll, Ashton Kutcher and Oprah!

Even networks are getting involved!

Oh, and not to toot our own horn but we have a twitter too!!!

Is this the new Pokemon phenomenia? Probably not until Webb starts one...

the NBA should care.

2009-04-23T11:00:00.003-04:00

Well it looks like we are headed for a turning point. The NBA should be careful, I know everyone who plays basketball wants to be here right now. But the tides could soon be changing especially if the American Economy keeps on its spiral downward.

Two summers ago Josh Childress a 6th man, not even a starter decided to go overseas for $60 million instead of settling in the USA for $20 million.

Last summer High School recruit, Brandon Jennings decided to de-commit from Arizona and went overseas(Europe) to collect $3.5 million dollars and return this year for the upcoming NBA draft.
Now Jeremy Tyler, a Junior in high school has decided to drop out of school and go overseas to play for one year and make it back in time for the 2010 NBA draft.

If this kid is able to acquire a lucrative contract and shows signs of improvement since leaving high school upon return we definately could see a change in the high school/college/professional basketball landscape. Which ultimately would suck for the College Basketball as a whole.

You may say no, but think about this. When the next NBA collective bargaining seminar between the Players and NBA comes up, it was rumored that they were going to raise the age limit to 20 years. This would force players to play atleast 2 years in college. For the under priveliged kids that need the money, we could possibly see the top players going overseas and collecting a check instead of staying here.

Things may not end up this way. But you should be nervous.

Top 10 South Park Episodes

2009-04-22T12:50:00.012-04:00

#6: Good Times With Weapons

This episode has it all, weapons, Japanese Anime, a cool theme song (in Japanese), Butter's eye destroyed by a samiari star... and of course, Cartman's little D.

After going to the South Park County Fair and buting ninja weapons, the boys set off on one of their great adventures. Poor Butters has to bring on his alter ego "Dr. Chaos" to take on Stan and the guys.

Kenny's poor (literally meaning no money) self throws his weapon, the samiari star (how lame of a weapon!) and hits Butters right in the eye. The boys don't want to get in trouble so they try to take care of Butters themselves, even going as far as diguising him as a dog and tkaing him to the Vet.

Near the end Cartman decides to use his power of any power and become invisible... only problem is, he isn't invisible. This is where you see his little D.

All in all this episode has everything that makes South Park what it is... and Cartman's D.

Funny/Wierd Sports Photo Tuesday... On Wednesday

2009-04-22T12:34:00.010-04:00

"ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!!!!!" Even pulling yourself up into a ball on the rim and having Chris Bosh (homo) stare at you ass. Oh, and Candace Parker's bro maybe the most pathetic excuse of a male basketball player.

Here is Marion Barber III doing his best Milton Bradley impersonation. Who do you think wins in a 'You got served' battle?

This is wrong in so many ways... first off Kobe and Shaq "hated each other", next Kobe has the Patrick Newport 'arm around a babe hand' on Shaq's shoulder, and finally Shaq has a boner... ok not really but imagine if he did.

T-minus 9 hours.

2009-04-22T11:00:00.005-04:00

Tonight some friends and I are headed to Gainesville to see up and coming rapper Drake perform. It should be interesting. It's being held at the O'Connell Dome which I've been to before
for concerts and each time the sound system was fucked up or just flat out sucks. Like usual though we should see some of the UF athletes and some crazy college things. The last concert I went to there was Lil wayne's and I saw Chandler Parson WIGGAing out hard. So here is what I expect to happen tonight:

Timmy to get scared at one point since it will mostly be black people.

Us to be drunk as f*ck before we get there.

Someone to get lost. Most likely cause she is a midget.

Timmy say "Dude that black girl is so f*cking sexy"

Us possibly to miss Drake the main reason we are going even though he is not the mian event.

See some UF athletes. If I had to guess i'd say it would be a group of basketball players.

Me to meet a girl love her for a second then realize "I am not cool enough"

Come back home to a Heat win by 20 and Wade have a stat line like this: 45 points, 19-25 FG, 12 Rebs, 10 Assists, 4 Steals, 2 Blocks, 2 TO

A magic lose :)

Pre game at this girl's apartment and me hate everyone.

But yeah shit should be tight. And this is Drake in case you cared.

Update: As soon as I figure it out. I'll post the song.

Where in the World is Timmy: Week 2

2009-04-21T17:02:00.012-04:00

Timmy has hit the big screen... showing up in some of our favorite movies. First off he hit the dumb scene, showing up in Dumb and Dumber. While not quite as good as Jim Carey as Tim put on a masterful piece as a dumb person.

Next, he went Jurrasic. Tim has always told me he had a dream of being chased by a T-rex... well he got that opportunity. Needless to say, tim smiled at the T-rex and the dinosaur couldn't help but fall in love with Timmy and become the new and improved Buddy (Tim's awesome dog.)

what more could you ask for... a big ship sinking, and a Novkov falling in love. That's what hit the big screen next. Tim took over for the dream boat "Leo" and showed that Novkovs can be successful in all types of movies. One thing for note, his drawing of her nake came out like a kindergartner's finger painting.

Lastly, Tim wanted to be in an upcoming blockbuster. After thinking for a while he decided since he has claws that come out of his hangs.. he might as well play Wolverine. Now, I have been scratched by Tim's claws and let me tell you... they hurt. I thought I had a layup at the local YMCA, I was wrong.

AWR

2009-04-21T09:39:00.009-04:00

....stands for After W. Rejoice...haha. Happy Post 4/20 to everyone. If you were able to enjoy getting blazed or watching blazed people operate yesterday I am very envoius. Working on 4/20 till 11am was a sweet way to ruin this National Holiday for me. *Hits sarcasm button. But you can't let little things like that get in the way..;) So as I sit here in with that "day after" feel I happened to come across a stallion aka a Babe.

This isn't a regular babe though. This is one of those girls that just seems absolutely different from any other chick you've seen or dealt with. From certain angles she looks like one of those chicks who had a rough past or childhood. But right now she is living the life, according to tabloids she is dating the Gayest Fish of them all "Kanye West".

You have to love America though. This girl has no claim to fame minus the fact that she is dating Kanye West and she already has her own Wikipedia page, Fan Club & nude photoshoots since being discovered. Everything in her past has been released to the public, for one she used to be a stripper (rough childhood) in an upscale strip joints in NY. It'f funny though 10 years ago you would have been like "oh gosh!' a stripper...ahhaha. Now it is just expected. Also Ms. Rose was or still is a Lesbian and seems to be taking a break to date Mr. West. I ain't saying she a Gold Digger, but she will change her dyke ways from someone who isn't broke ni66a....LOL

This Girl/Lady though is special. Everything about her is unique her composure is unmatched. In every shot with the usually extravagent dresser, West she steals show. That is a hard task to complete. The weirdest part is that she is bald, well not bald but...yeah I guess you would call it bald. When asked about why she cuts her Rose responded with this, "I feel like hair blocks the attention & natural beauty everyones face deserves."

Here a couple more... but these are not sufficient to view if your in a public domain...

1 2 4 3

Amber Rose:

On the rating skill she works out to be two blank faced hansbroughs.

Despit being very sexy, the bald head knocks her down.

Imagine waking up in the morning and rolling over to see the back of her bald

head. Yeah you would probably freak yourself out, wondering whether you

were in bed with a dude or not...lol

The rating system

I know, I know

2009-04-20T16:36:00.002-04:00

We have been a little bit Youtube crazy here in the last couple of posts... but I have to put this one up

Might as well

2009-04-20T10:48:00.003-04:00

Just saw Pat's post on Tracey Morgan. Watched the first min and though it was funny I could not watch the rest. When people are put in awkward situations on tv I just can't bear to watch..haha. I know I am a f*cking poon. But for those who dont knowTracey was a part of one of the most ridiculous movies in recent history how I messed this movie when it hit theaters beats me because the plot was right up my lane. But here are some outakes and they are all pretty crazy.

For all those downers...

2009-04-19T22:42:00.001-04:00

Here is an attempt to cheer you up... it made me smile a bit

F2L NBA Playoff Predictions

2009-04-17T16:41:00.011-04:00

Patrick J.'s Picks:

Webb's Picks:

Parker's Picks:

Yes, Donovan just crapped his pants

2009-04-16T16:47:00.003-04:00

So, word came out from the Jordan Classic in New York today that 5-star #22 overall recruit on Rivals.com, Daniel Orton has decided to stay commited to Kentucky. This is bad news for the rest of the SEC because Kentucky is poised to have a front court that is unmatchable to anyone else in the conference.

Orton joins fellow big men Demarcus Cousins (#2 on Rivals) and potentially Patrick Patterson (avg. 17.9 ppg and 9.8 rpg last season for UK). This would make for three 5-star big men playing down low for the Wildcats.

Of course there is also a good chance that former Memphis signee and #8 overall player on Rivals, Xavier (Zay-vee-a) Henry couls join the bunch. And don't forget about the #1 overall player John Wall.

Basically, what this all means is simply one thing... the SEC may not know whats about to hit them next season.

JOHNny stay home.. #3b & 4

2009-04-16T10:41:00.006-04:00

Yeah I skipped 3b. But I realized 3b was gonna be a game recap & player profiles from both teams in the Hoop Summit. But really I don't care about them. Well I take that back I really like Avery Bradely & Abdul Gaddy both & can't wait to see how their talents translate to the collegiate level.

Here is the Game Recap. USA was by far the more talented team especially on the Guard side of the ball. On the Forward and Center side the USA was better but simply just lazy. Aside from Henson who is just physically so far behind its almost hard to blame him in this area. Same goes for Plumlee who goes hard but he is more of a 3 than a 4 so I can't fault him either. (plus i'm on his side since he is headed to Duke until he Greg Paulus' me.) But Renardo Sidney & DeMarcus Cousins were flat out lazy and I feel sorry for the Universities who have to experience one or two years of those guys. This is where the battle was lost.... down low. Milan Macvan the assiasian put in work, 23 pts & 14 rebs he will be in the NBA soon enough.

(screw Dwight. This is Pat's favorite player)

Also a movement is taking place, people are taking notice & getting excited. This is what the author of the FreeDarko Blog had to say about John Wall.

It is almost impossible to explain how awesome John Wall is.
He's like a more athletic, less selfish, Derrick Rose. Like LeBron if he hadn't
been made in space and was crossed with Chris Paul. Like that column someone
wrote during Wade's championship about how no one saw Jordan coming, either, and
the Messiah is supposed to be unexpected and organic. I have absolutely no idea
how someone can be both so freakishly dominant and yet so comfortable staying
within an offense. Did I mention he has at least five "extra gears," like a
series of increasingly explosive first steps that happen within mere feet of
each other? When asked about a fall he took that would've made Wade or Gerald
Wallace proud, insisted it had to be that way because "you never know which game
might be your last." He also has the uncanny ability to cock his entire body in
mid-air for a block, only to abruptly staunch all his momentum and float back
down to earth if the angle's not there. I have never been more impressed by a
high school player. I very nearly blurted out "just stop fucking around and go
to UNC" while he was taking questions about his ongoing college search.

(J-Dub-U getting busy)

To each his own.

2009-04-16T09:24:00.010-04:00

The title says it all. If you ever like to look at basketball from a different angle you should check out freedarko.com. Without a doubt it is one of the most mind stimulating sites I have ever found. Now this site is not for all, it's littered with very long wordy post and at times a bitch to get through. But it covers everything about basketball I love from statistics, player graphs, player efficiency and many other quirky things, its definately a good read. Most likely it won't be your cup of tea but to anyone out there who is a basketball junkie/nerd & reads F2L you should check it out.

I mean where else could you find custom graphs that try to explain the uniqueness of Anthony Randolph and other NBA player skills and how the translate on the court.

Also they sell shirts a Novkov would definately purchase...lol

Meaning: Lebron is better than Kobe.

NBA Playoffs Ready to Begin

2009-04-16T00:47:00.001-04:00

The NBA playoffs start this Saturday... DCT time for everyone... GO MAGIC!
(Deezle and myself will be at game one versus the sixers)
This should get you pumped up!

Top 10 South Park Episodes

2009-04-15T21:46:00.005-04:00

#7: Timmy 2000

Having a friend named Timmy makes this episode hit a nice little place in my heart. Who couldn't love a band that rocks out hardcore and has a handicap kidyelling his name? Phil Collins.

In this episode, a local band in the South Park area named Lord of the Underworld is having trouble getting any gigs... that's until Timmy comes into their lives.

Behind Timmy, the band becomes a huge success. That is until douchebag Phil Collins realizes he is being over looked and decides to make it looks likethe band is taking advantage of Timmy. In the end the town realizes that Timmy is having the time of his life and they cheer for him like they had done before.

Oh and all the kids in school get put on Ritalin... leading to a very boring 4th grade.

I think through all of this we learned that even though our friends named Timmy maybe special... they are also people and we should appreciate them.

Update: Liar

2009-04-15T09:17:00.004-04:00

In case you missed the first installment. check it out here or you could scroll the page down...lol

So in the last installment I was telling you about Paulus got a workout with the Packers. Now at first read I thought that it was probably coach K looking out for his player and using his contacts. But appranetly the scout Called him. Which makes me wonder again why the f*ck did this kid play basketball? Reportedly a half dozen other pro teams contacted Mister Paulus in efforts to set up a team workout.

I mean really if he is that good why would he even waste his time in Durham on the basketball court?

But it gets even better yesterday he was in Ann Arbor talking with Head Coach Rich Rodriguez about possible playing for the Wolverines next year. With two freshman Quarterbacks he has the chance to start and play if he accepts the offer. He was also at practice yesterday as well and could fit into the spread offense they run. Strangely somehow after playing 4 years at Duke Paulus still has a year left of eligilbilty. I don't get it.

Why did this kid ever play basketball?
Most likely to ruin my past 4 years as a duke fan.

Funny/Wierd Sports Photo Tuesday

2009-04-14T18:29:00.008-04:00

Neo may not be the one after all... for the Matrix dorks

I have always said that the Magic own the Heat... this proves my point.

There are so many things wrong in this picture that I am lost for words... find it yourself.

Top 10 South Park Episodes #8

2009-04-14T17:08:00.009-04:00

#8: Sexual Harassment Panda

"When one little panda sticks his hairy little willy in another little panda's ear... that makes me a very sad panda." Who wouldn't learn about sexual harassment when put in such wonderful terms.

Well Cartman does in this episode and decides to sue Stan for sexual harassment after Petey the Sexual Harassment Panda comes to the boys class. This lawsuit leads to a buttload of other sexual harassment lawsuits, which Kyle's dad earns a pretty buck by defending each sexual harassment case.

With all these lawsuits taking place the boys set out to find Petey. They find him on "The Island of Misfit Mascots Commune" and convince him to change his cause. They successfully complete their mission and change him into "Petey: The Don't Sue People Panda".

What did I learn through this episode... Don't call Parker an Ass-sucker anymore.

Liar.

2009-04-14T13:50:00.006-04:00

In 2005 Duke got the #1 rated Point Guard in the class. I did exactly what I have been doing with John Wall building up hype & envisioning him on owning. Then the season hit and I finally got to see him play. Utter let down. Greg Paulus was a huge bust. Through the 4 years there he only avg. 9 points and 4 assists constantly getting tourched night in and night out in each of his 4 season there. The only reason he was rated higher than Mario Chalmers & Monta Ellis was probably cause he was headed to Duke. The thought was probably that Duke doesn't recurit Slouches so this guy must be good. But looking back at that class everyone was ranked horribly, Hansbrough was the third rated PF behind Josh McRoberts and Richard Hendrix. Something interesting I also found was Andrew Bynum was headed to UCONN. Good thing he opted out of messing around on the collegiate level and cashed in before the age limit was set.

But i'm bringing Paulus up because I heard reports how he has a scheduled football tryout with the Green Bay Packers. I knew he was a QB in high school, but according to reports he was Nasty. Broke six state passing records and was offered full rides to University of Miami and Notre Dame. Also all of his brothers played Division 1A football, with his brother playing at UNC as a QB right now. So with all the accolades I wonder why this guy didn't play football straight out of high school.

But he was asked if he regreted choosing basketball over football, during an interview in January with USA Today & not for one second do I believe his answer.

"I wanted to play point guard, and I got a chance to do that and to play for Duke and Coach [Krzyzewski]," Paulus told USA Today. "I wouldn't change a thing."

This kid has to be the biggest liar in America.

Where in the World is Timmy: Week 1

2009-04-13T14:58:00.009-04:00

Our friend Tim Novkov is a tough guy to keep up with. We sometimes have no idea what he is doing but thankfully he sometimes gets caught in the act. So here is what Timmy was doing this week:

Last time we saw him he was looking for a ride to Cleveland, OH. Well luckily, some semi driver gave tim his wish.

Timmy was at the Celtics/Cavs game on Sunday... here he is caught trying to give LeBron a kiss disguised as Paul Pierce. Needless to say, Bron Bron's mom wasn't happy about what was unfolding.

Today, Timmy was spotted helping out some unfortunate people in Nigeria. Timmy is one with the African's because he is a baller. His balling skills def. showed here when he helped teach some young Nigerian boys how to play. He also became the agent of one of the boys, above, is Timmy taking a pic with the mother of the boy, as you can tell... he was excited for the contract agreement!

LamBRO-GENIE.

2009-04-13T01:03:00.009-04:00

Considering that I am not to into cars I found it very interesting that I had a one year subscription to Motor Trend in my name. Nonetheless its always nice to add new magazines to your "stuff I only read when I shit" collection. So as I sat there dropping a deuce I flipped through the newest issue only to find this beauty sitting on the page. More than likely I will never ever get to drive the 2009 Lamborghini Murcielago. But I think every one can appreciate this car. It simply is amazing. 631 HP & a V12 engine what that means or why someone needs this for i dont know. But anyone who has one must BANK. This Lambo runs you about $400,00. Insanity. But definately worth every penny... lol.

this car gets the rating of.... One DRUNK ELI.

To understand the rating system, click here

JOHNny stay home.. #3a.

2009-04-12T23:19:00.004-04:00

I wanted to post following the Nike Hoop Summit game but it was like 12 or 1 am when i finally got home. Intially I planned on just doing one big John Wall story that would touch on alot of different things. But in an effort to not bore our readers I later decided to split it up into two seperate post because I could honestly post 10 straight days about mister Wall no problem. So part a is given to you tonight & I will post part b later on in the week. But today I specifically wanted to give a player profile on Wall from what I saw in the Hoop summit. Coupled with some thoughts on a few players who particapated in the Derby Classic.

First the Derby Classic, if your like me today (or Saturday) is probably the first time you have heard of this nationally renowned all star showcase. It was alot more entertaining than the McD's AA Game. Only got to see the first half. But had two things to say:

Michael Snear without a doubt was the most impressive player there. True gamer when he came off the bench was immediately in the flow of the game. Was able to help the team out in ever facet of the game from taking care of the ball to playing good on-ball defense this kid was doing everything. He is a 2 guard and he showed he could make an impact without having to touch the ball. Exhibited a great motor, Leonard Hamilton will be pleased with this guy. FSU will be back in the Tourney next year for sure.
Saw very little of Daniel Orton cause the Gold coach seemed to be rotating bigs early and often. Definately saw a very good rebounder and post player who knew how to use his body well. Wanted to see me post moves but it is an all star game so I will just have to wiat till the season begins. He didn't reall shine but I put him up here cause I saw Cousins (his analysis will be in part b) play too and I just want to say it now. Kentucky fans should want this guy instead of Cousins. He just seems like he would be a better ball player than him now and in the future.

I need to learn to get my point across with less words...lol.

Now to the most intruiging/exciting player in this years recruiting class. How Espn does not have him number one baffles me. No way is Xavier Henry is better than John Wall. Regardless of where this kid chooses to go to school I will be a fan of him. That means more "JOHNny Stay Home.." post (sorry). The Hoop Summit is not an all star game but sort of a showcase mixed with a try out, eh it is hard to explain. But what is not hard to explain is how the USA was struggling without Wall in the game. Gaddy is the second rated point guard in the 09 recruiting class and it is easy to say Wall is fifty times better than Gaddy. This is my first profiling I am doing on the site and it probably will not be the last. Luckily college basketball is over so you will not see much more of these until it returns.

Thoughts on John Wall:

+The most dominant player on the court & knew it played with confidence.
+Along with beign the point guard he was the most athletic guy on the court.
+Going Left or Right was no problem for Wall
+Brings Defensive Intensity every single play.
+His top gear is incredible, the kid is a gazelle.
+Can finish at the basket.
+Could be a TOP NOTCH defender, he is already hell on defense.
+His wing span allowed him to play passing lanes just a ballhawk.
+Alwasy was creating for teammates.
+Blended it well with the scoring and passing never looked like a ball hog.
+Was able to finish through contact had great body control in the air
+Seems mentally tough
+Best open court player, either blowing by you or making a craft move.
+Aggresiveness, didnt shy away wanted the ball in his hands.
+Did not have very many mistakes.

-Could see problems with him running half court sets.
-Had one gear..VERY FAST. didnt seem to have a medium one.
-Looks like he can get out of control at times.
-Had lapses in defense often caught leaking out.
-Can get burned cause he plays for the steal every time.
-People talked about his jumper being very reliable did not see it.
-Shot one 3 and for such a great leaper he barely jumped on the attempt.
-Strength does not matter in college but for NBA too weak.

Wihtout a doubt though John will be a beast in college basketball next year.

Case you missed it here are part 1 & 2 of the "JOHNny Stay Home.." series.

& check pat's "JOHNny be good" series out too here & here

F*ck my friends.

2009-04-12T18:25:00.003-04:00

Today while hanging out with my friends I really realized i hate each of my friends F' em.
Here is the breakdown....

F' Tim- simply because he is ignoring the fact that D. WADE3 is the real MVP of the 08-09 NBA season
F' Pat - if John Wall goes to UK i'm gonna have to become a UK fan and agree with him on every UK decision.
F' Parker - Well just cause he is Parker. & he shows up late. & cause he used the family excuse.
F' Ian - Cause he doesn't hangout anymore
F' Amy - she is moving to tampa.
F' Alisha - she lives in New York
F' marilyn - she hates my friend parker..... but who doesn't (PJ)
F' arama - she isn't funny
F' LA-REN - her name is too weird.
F' marty & steve - for giving me a place to drink every friday/saturday/sunday & getting fat....occasionally thursdays
F' dan & lori - cause you are so freaking cute together. ;) (PJ)
F' Phil - he works all weekends

*(PJ) - assisted by Patrick J
& pictures later.

JOHNny be good Part Duex

2009-04-12T14:49:00.002-04:00

So Webb and myself watched the Nike Hoop Summit last night at mi casa. We both learned one thing watching the game... John Wall is sick and where ever he ends up it will change the make-up of that team and how far that team can go.

JOHNny be good

2009-04-11T14:26:00.004-04:00

Webb has recently been posting about the most saught after recruit left in America, John Wall. While no one can be certain where this kid is going it is basically down to 3 schools, Kentucky, Duke and North Carolina.

Webb listed reasons why he would choose either UK or Duke but failed to list things for UNC who is possibly a dark horse.

I'll just keep it really simple with UNC:

Reasons to go:
He has been a fan of them his whole life
Close to home

Reason to say F you:
They haven't started recruiting him until now
Wall's AAU caoch despises Roy Williams

Now while I was surfing the net I found an even more interesting blog entry from this very blog managing site. Michael Eaves a long time FSN guy and graduate of UK got a chance to talk to the big trio out at the Nike Hoop Summit, Cousins, Henry and of course Wall.

The man found out some interesting facts... Cousins believes both Henry and Wall will be at UK without hesitation, Henry is planing on a visit with his brother to UK after the Jordan classic next weekend, and Wall sounds like a guy who has UK on the fast track to his picking.

While he did not say that the kids said they were coming to UK, this is the biggest news to come out about these recruits in a few weeks.

So suck on that Webbie!

JOHNny stay home.. #2

2009-04-11T11:37:00.008-04:00

So as I sit here watching the The Office all I can think about is John Wall (no homo) potentially going to play basketball at Duke University. Tonight Wall & the other top recruits in the 09 class will be playing in Nike Hoop Summit in Portland, Oregon. For most of America this is probably their first look at this amazing talent. To most this is a sigh of relief cause I know for one I have watched his youtube highlight clips about 100 times since its been posted. It is setting up to be an exciting showcase. This morning while visiting my usual websites I found an awesome interview with John Wall and Ben the Blogger from the Blazer Edge. Here is an excerpt from it.

There are pros and cons to playing college ball with one of these guys, right? If you play with them you have a great chance to go deep in the tournament. You play without them, perhaps you get more exposure?

"It really doesn't even matter about the exposure.
I just want to go to a team that needs a point guard. That's where I'm trying to come in. I'm trying to be the missing piece to a team.
I don't want to come in and be the person they have to go to every key play because for a freshman that would be kind of tough. I wouldn't mind taking challenges but I'm going to be honest, it's going to be a tough one as a freshman, going through so many games, travelling.
So to have some veterans on the team and you come in and be the missing piece, that's going to be [what I'm looking for]."

SO BASICALLY ITS DUKE OR KENTUCKY.

Woohoo, NBA 2K9 take a hike!!!

2009-04-10T11:17:00.000-04:00

Loads of Crap for Thursday

2009-04-09T23:33:00.009-04:00

This is simple... I surf the net and find you things that are oddly worth looking at... So in a way, they seem like crap... but they aren't.

I thought pirates were a thing of the past... I was wrong.
Guess who is a postage stamp!! No, not Timmy.
What does a man need in his life? Sex, alcohol and Seth Rogen?
Imagine how big of news this would have been if he was still in Big D.
If you can find out what is wrong with this page... then you can't work there!
If you don't find commercials entertaining... then don't click right HERE. (bet you still do)
and finally, shout out to Webbie!!

See you next Thursday!

I knew it... Kanye is a gay fish

2009-04-09T17:17:00.002-04:00

Why Me and Patrick Aren't Gangster

2009-04-09T16:07:00.003-04:00

Not too long ago Me, Timnovkov, and Patrick J were staying in Jax Beach for a few days during SB. SB09 wwwooohhh!! So anyway, after a long night of me getting my fake ID taken as well as getting me and Tim banned from a club, me and Pat decided to chill outside for a bit. This was mainly due to the fact we were staying with Patrice (aka Shareese) Novkov and as everyone knows Novkovs dont know what AC is so her house was like 90 degrees.

So me and PJ were chillin out by the street not too far down from all the bars. I believe it as around 2 in the morning so there werent too many cars goin by, except for the random car of drunks every few min. As were conversing I couldnt help but notice myself getting quite uncomfortable when each car would drive by. I expressed this fear to PJ in hopes he would be able to relate.

The reason I would become uncomfortable is that with each passing car, I couldn't ignore the possibility that there would be a gunman inside that would take the opportunity to cap my ass in a drive-by style. I don't know why I felt this way..seeing as I'm from the suburbs of Ocala, not the skreets of Compton, or the projects of Harlem. But for whatever reason, I did. Thankfully after telling my Pat about this he didn't make fun of me and actually let me know it made him feel a little weird, as well.

Not long after making my fears known, I looked down the street and saw the last thing on Earth I wanted to see at that moment- 24 inch rims....white candy paint...chrome grill....blacked out windows....thats right...it was none other than a brand new Cadillac Escalade.

Now I may not know much about that whole culture...but I do know this- If you are gonna get shot in a drive-by at 2am on the side of the street..that shit is damn sure gonna be flyin from an Escalade on rims.

"My God, were about to die", I said all white-faces and poonish.

"O jeez, an Escalade on rims, play it cool man. Just dont look at them", Pat said, trying to fight back his own terror.

As the death mobile approached, we both became increasingly afraid. I wanted to run, but I knew they'd catch me. We would simple have to stand there like men and accept whatever was about to happen. And here it came- 100 feet...50 feet...25 feet.....was this really about to happen?

Just then......."BAAMM BAAMMM!!!"

Me and Pat both let out a simultaneous "oh shit!" as our feet left the ground and our hearts skipped a beat and off drove the terror-whip. It was at that time we realized we were still alive. In fact we had not been shot at at all. The noise we had both shit ourselves over was those chrome 24's passing over a loose sewer grate.

We both shared a relieved chuckle and called one another a poon. We had escaped the murderers and beaten the odds. We were here to see another day and ready to take on the world! ....until another car came into view down the street and we decided to not test our luck and again so we went back inside and went to bed.

That, my friends, is why me-Trevor Parker, and my boy Patrick Newport are NOT gangsters.

JOHNny stay home..

2009-04-09T14:57:00.008-04:00

If you have no interest in College Basketball the name John Wall most likely has no effect on you. But to devoted Kentucky, Duke & the other 4 schools in the mix for this kids talent it means everything. This simple 8 letter name is so generic yet it holds so much power. I am not sure who the other schools are but this kid literally has the ability to resurrect both UK and Duke both from these dry spells they have fallen upon. Fans everywhere are literally holding there breath till April 18th when he decides what school to attend. Many say on the 18th Wall will put on the Wildcat hat but until then we can all make our assumptions and speculat on where he will end up going....

Why he attends UK:

Cal's his buddy
Immediate Playing Time
NO back ups plays prob 35-38 mins a game
Looks like a Star if Kentucky makes Tourney & wins a few games
Wouldn't have to do much if POY candidate Meeks comes back
Cal's Offense is geared for his style, Dribble-Drive

Why he attends Duke

Close to home (according to mapquest 33 min drive)
His AAU mate Ryan Kelly
Coach K has the wide open style that Suns used in PHX so he would have the floor to himself
Get to play UNC twice a year. Biggest Rivalry in College Basketball & most televised
Duke & Arizona both called Point Guard U.

Why he doesnt attend UK

Just doenst like Lexington.
Too far from his Mom who is ill
Meeks stays in draft

Why he doesnt attend Duke

Alot of returning players who are established so he would probably get 20 - 25 mins a game
Ryan Kelly has bad breath.
Doesnt like playing with a bunch of white kids who can shoot.
Really doesn't like his mom.

(Lets go J DUB U!!!)